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A Letter to Quique Setién

Good morning Uncle Quique. How are you? Yesterday was a lovely day. Your second win. I congratulate you. Well done. I love that you have brought back TIKI TAKA to my beloved Barcelona FC. Our possession now mad gaan. I have a question for you though. What is the use of passing “upandan” without scoring goals?

Yesterday we played UD Ibiza. One small team like that in the 3rd league. Sorry correction, UD Ibiza played us. In the 1st half alone they could have scored 3 goals. In case you do not remember let me refresh your memory. Shey you sha remember say dem beat us for 1st half. In that same 1st half dem score another goal but referee disallowed it because the goal scorer pushed “Odey” Singlet (Lenglet) before scoring. Around 40 minutes of the 1st half dem place “Apere” Neto and the ball chop bar on the lower left corner. Shey you now remember? Issokay.

Opelope Griezmann and De Jong, dem for don finish us. Ansu Fati was just doing adagba upandan.

Uncle Quique, please tell your players to pass well but ensure in their passing they remember where the goal post is. Against a sharper team we would have been beaten silly.

Also we need defenders. All our defenders are daft. We also need someone that know where post dey like Vardy, Aguero, Lewandowski, Aubameyang or Halland.

So far so good you have atried. I want you to remember that your contract is short. No be mistake. If you fumble peren we fire you DANUDANU.

See you on Saturday at Valencia. This is your true test. An away match (we have been very poor in away matches) against the club that cost us the Copa Del Rey last year. Beat them silly. Biko.

What do you think?

Written by Tunji Lasisi


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